i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize