come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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