they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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