yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
