just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
