you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
only you would photoshop your dick
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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