So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
