please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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