It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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