I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
