im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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