Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
