I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
