I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
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He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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