Grow some girl-balls and come out already
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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