i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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