on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
We got so high we made milksteak
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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