So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Randomize
