she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
