I just pynch a tree in the face
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
