Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
