The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
