No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
