my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
