mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Everything about him screamed your future.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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