I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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