How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
