my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Tell her she can't have a vagina
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
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