Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
