So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize