So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
