I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
