I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
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After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
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You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"