Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me