it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
That accounts for only three of the penises
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs