Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I'm so hungover and dru,k

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  (248): I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now (810): I'm so hungover and dru,k http://tfl.nu/ug4y
  Replies (4) Good night (912) Bad night (407)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha

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  (202): I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha http://tfl.nu/h2dn
  Replies (5) Good night (611) Bad night (4699) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.

  (1-501): View more from Arkansas

  bonus

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  (501): So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked. (1-501): bonus http://tfl.nu/029j
  Replies (20) Good night (4110) Bad night (450) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.

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  (716): And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself. http://tfl.nu/r0kt
  Replies (19) Good night (752) Bad night (3864) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth

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  (845): As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth http://tfl.nu/7fqn
  Replies (9) Good night (4724) Bad night (694) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...

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  (814): I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker... http://tfl.nu/b9kq
  Replies (10) Good night (3846) Bad night (1041) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?

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  (412): Why are there maracas in the dishwasher? http://tfl.nu/o2j7
  Replies (14) Good night (5184) Bad night (712) Order T-Shirt
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.

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  (778): We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay. http://tfl.nu/xs17
  Replies (16) Good night (1461) Bad night (2777) Order T-Shirt
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  (386): View more from Florida

  It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina

  (386): View more from Florida

  It really is the softest mustache

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  (386): It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina (386): It really is the softest mustache http://tfl.nu/mbrj
  Replies (9) Good night (2268) Bad night (625)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.

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  (705): He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment. http://tfl.nu/68lb
  Replies (7) Good night (1875) Bad night (740) Order T-Shirt
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.

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  (252): Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing. http://tfl.nu/p5zs
  Replies (3) Good night (1224) Bad night (450) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!

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  (561): Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?! http://tfl.nu/98de
  Replies (13) Good night (1063) Bad night (459) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.

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  (973): Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical. http://tfl.nu/hbh3
  Replies (9) Good night (1869) Bad night (364) Order T-Shirt
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle

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  (204): I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle http://tfl.nu/o3ji
  Replies (3) Good night (1621) Bad night (234) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.

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  (913): I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath. http://tfl.nu/ml02
  Replies (4) Good night (467) Bad night (182) Order T-Shirt

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