someone owes me an orgasm
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
