She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We left an ass print on the piano.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
