If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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