So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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