i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
