why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
