clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
