yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
