Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
