I'm really into asian looking animals
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
