youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
