Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
