Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
