the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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