If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
