the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
