he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I need a beard to bite.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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