Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Randomize