covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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