sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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