i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
