No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize