I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
