New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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