she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
