i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize