you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
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