either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
