Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
