A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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