I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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