Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
