You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
